Why did they have to leave me?
The death of someone close is devastating, it is bigger and more painful than we could ever imagine. Its impact on us can be anything from bearably painful to emotionally catastrophic.
Mourning is the natural way we come to terms with our loss. ’As painful as it is’. It is the process of change that attaches us to the loved one. We have to come to an acceptance that we will not see them again, this is a massive transition. Trying to avoid this process can lead to trouble further down the line.
Feeling depressed, exhausted, full of pain, confusion feeling in slow motion, cold and numb, this is the Shock of the loss it protects in the early days
Denial This can sometimes be a necessary protective mechanism, will I ever wake up from this nightmare? It’s not real it’s not happening.
Separation and pain we behave in searching ways, even hallucinate you are not alone in this.
Despair – extreme the sadness around at this time is severe, the mood swings depression guilt anxiety almost overwhelming.
Acceptance – depression the emotional swings are like a roller coaster, there appears to be a shift.
Resolution and reorganisation the feeling of being ready to reinvest in the world, but as a pace that is right for you. (my words) ’ bite size chunks’
Continually express your grief in your way, what feels right for you. Look at old photo’s cry over a favourite jumper that reminds of special times together, listen to music, make pilgrimages paint write, knit sew whatever feels right for you.
Ask for what you need– feelings come and go, like waves of the sea.
Bereavement Counselling can help you make sense of this process.